To my little love,

Funny story... I was part of an online photography class and we had a facebook group.   And a small group of us joined together to do this monthly series of letters to our child(ren).  We publish our letter on the last Friday of the month, which is today.
Obviously.  (well, obvious to most people)
 I apparently have not paid attention to a calendar lately because I did not realize it was the end of February...because, you know the dates are still in the twenties.
That's a terrible reason for not being aware.
I am also making a concerted effort to stay off of facebook...which is fantastic, and freeing, and makes you realize all the mindless drivel that is really the stuff of facebook, but it really bad if you are part of groups who communicate via facebook.
Anyway, if this were last month, this letter to my sweet babe would be connected to some other lovely letters written by beautiful mamas.  However, as it stands, it is just floating along, all alone.  Just a letter, to my little love.  Oh well, there is always March.


My love,

As I write this you are sleeping, exhausted from playing today, your sweet little baby bum in the air.  I love that little bum.  I hope nap time lasts long enough for me to write this letter and then snooze a bit with you too.  Mama loves naps.  While we are on the subject, you never nap long enough...could you please nap longer?  Thanks.
This month you have made me laugh out loud constantly.  And also gasp out loud because I'm constantly afraid you are going to hurt yourself with whatever crazy stunt you are doing...you have no fear...you either need to find some or I'm getting you a helmet to wear full time.
You are so affectionate with me, Daddy, Bailey and Ruger.  Although Bailey and Ruger don't fully appreciate your affection at all times.  It's ok, they'll get there.  You also like to help us clean...if you start doing it all yourself I'll pay you.  Don't tell your Dad.
My favorite thing you do right now may be playing peekaboo. Half the time you play you just put your head down and look away for a second.  I guess if you can't see us we can't see you, right?  And every time you put your head up you look surprised and amazed that we are right there.  It is so funny.  

******
I somehow saved this as a draft and saw it a month later. I guess that means naptime didn't last. Seriously dude, nap. One day when you are a teenager you are going to be pissed off when I won't let you sleep. And then you'll have babies who never let you sleep either.

I love you despite your sleepless ways.
Your tired mama.

To my sweet boy,

I am participating in a group called Letters to Our Sons and Daughters.  Every month we are writing a letter to our sweet babes and then linking up to the next blog.  (Crap- I just realized this means people might actually read what I've written.)

I suppose I should have started this documenting thing for my sweet boy a long time ago.  Oh well, better late than never I suppose.



Dear Baby Huck,

You are going to be 14 months old in a few days!  How did that happen?  I swear we just brought your squishy baby self home from a hospital a week or so ago...and now you walk around asking "Whas 'dis?" about everything.

Watching you grow and change and learn is the greatest joy of my life.  You make me laugh (out loud, for sustained periods of time) daily with the funny things you do.  Like stirring the dogs' water with your toothbrush, or dumping all the onions out the bag and then taking a bite out of each one, or teasing  your Dad with cherry tomatoes before putting them in your own mouth.  You are one funny little dude.

You are also growing to be such an affectionate little boy.  You love to put your head on Bailey and just lay on the floor snuggling with her (if she will stay still long enough for that to happen).  You love to gives kisses...to me, to Daddy, to yourself in the mirror. to pictures of babies in books, to pictures of babies on boxes of diapers...you just love to give kisses.  (And proper kisses, not open mouth slobbery kisses.)  And it just about kills me when you see me sitting on the floor and run towards me with your arms open, laughing, and give me a hug as big as your tiny arms will allow.

Being your mama is the single most fullfilling, most difficult, most enjoyable job I have ever had or ever will have.  I am excited everyday to see what we will discover together and to find the little things in life that make you so excited.  (FYI, you are particularly fond of the museum at the zoo, music, baby signing time, and taking showers.)

I can't wait to see what this next month holds and what new things we will discover. Every day with you is such a gift. (even the days when you are a whiny jerk) I love you more than I could ever explain. Thank you for being my son, my love.

I love you
Mama

These are some of my favorite pictures from the month. (sorry most of them are instagram pictures-I'll get some real pictures)

Helping Daddy with the TV

Kissing the library dog

"woooooooow"

Onto the next blog: Jenn.

The Sweetest Time of Day

We are co-sleepers, bed-sharers, all-night snugglers in our house. (we also get kicked in the throat occasionally, but this we shall not discuss)

This has been one of my greatest sources of joy as a mama. I absolutely love having my sweet boy so near to me all night long. I love to rest my hand against him while he sleeps... I wonder who gets more comfort from this?

(I would by lying if I didn't say I love the convenience of it as well since Huck still nurses at night.)(many of my parenting choices are based on my laziness and I am too lazy to get out of my warm bed at night.)

I love waking up in the mornings. Some mornings he is sitting up smiling. Some mornings he leans over with kisses for me and Bob (he doesn't call him dad or dada or any variation thereof- just Bob). *swoon* And some mornings he lies there for a few minutes talking to himself. (some mornings he wakes up and is a whiny jerk- but it's nothing some snuggles and milk can't fix)

But my absolute favorite is when everyone is in bed and falling asleep and Huck squirms and wiggles and maneuvers until he is resting safely in his daddy's arms. That is my favorite. My favorite time of night. My favorite reason for co- sleeping. The thing that makes my heart so full.

Our favorite pastime...

Who doesn't love a baby in a good hat?! I know I do- and I know The Boy does not love them. So an attempt to amuse myself I drive him to fine purveyors of hats (tarjay) weekly to try them on, piss him off, and take pictures of our great adventures.
This is true fun.
Also, that lamb (or whatever animal it is) hat is ours. We didn't steal it. And obviously our adventures are not limited to hats. We go to the bike helmet aisle too. What the hell else are we going to do in Salami?

since may. volume 1

I used to live here.

We had lots of room to roam.  

And roam we did.

Our closest neighbors were horses, Jane and Patrick, remember them?

There were also some sheep too.  I don't know their names.

No one could see you outside at this house.  So you could walk around in your underpants in the great outdoors.  

That's how God intended, right? 

 Underpants and rainboots.

There was a creek behind the house. (tho truthfully that may just have been a sewage drain... creek sounds more romantic.)

I had plans for this house.

There were chickens.  

The hound dogs could run until they couldn't run anymore.

Oh, and the front porch.  

The front porch! 

There was a fireplace in the dining room, with a rocking chair and an ottoman.

A perfect place for taking tea.  If you do things like that.

And I do.

And the main walls of this house are over 200 years old.  

This house has seen things.

This house was built with love.

And lived in, in love.

There were going to be goats, and horses, more chickens (you can never have enough chickens), gardens, greenhouses, llamas, tractors, ponds.

And babies.

Martha Stewart was going to come to me for advice.

Hell, she still might.

Oh, I should mention, this house has the most glorious sunsets.  

And at night the most fantastic show of stars you've ever seen.
Outside of Loose Creek.
I do love the stars at night, out in the country.
It feels kind of like a secret between you and God...all the hidden stars you can't see when you are near the light and activity and noise of the city.
Kind of like that quiet in prayer/meditation/whatever you personally choose to call it... where you hear or feel, or know.
But you have to get away from the noise first.

How things have changed.
Now I live here.



It's not nearly so grand.
But it contains the same love.
And the same dreams.
And sunflowers, an awesome neighbor, and a whole room just for yoga.
And it seems to be just everything we need right now.
(A whole room for yoga!)
Well maybe I won't have goats, and tractors, and ponds here.
It would probably get crowded with goats and chickens and dogs.
And the driveway isn't big enough for a tractor.
And you can certainly not go outside wearing only rainboots and underpants.
(I've only almost done that a few times.)
So I'll stick with the chickens and the dogs.
Who wouldn't keep those two?
Look at 'em.


Now the chickens on the other hand.

They died.
Hawks and dogs.
May their little chicken souls rest in peace.
I will get some more chickens.
They are just such lovely creatures.

Oh, and did you know, Salami has the most wonderful sunsets.
I didn't.
In Hawaii we were in perpetual search of that elusive Hawaiian sunset
Always too late, too early, in traffic, wrong side of the island, wrong side of the mountain, storm moving in.
Never found it.
First night in Salami- orange and purple and pink sunset.
Amazing.
I wish I had a picture of that.
Just close your eyes and imagine it.
You can do it.


You probably wonder why I moved from first place to the second place.
That first house is me, in house form.
Why would I leave?
Is it because Husband and I have nomadic spirits that cannot be tamed?
Perhaps.
Actually, we moved for him to start his own practice.
Staying in our house would have been one long commute.
And I support him in whatever it is he does.
I'd follow him wherever he wants to go.
Ends of the earth.
Literally.
Here's proof. 

(This is my second to last hike.
Also known as my first hike.)

writer's block, photo shoots, oblivious runners, hiking, and a partridge in a pear tree.

I have a fantastic amount of writer's block.... maybe my writer has been blocked for four months or so....since May maybe.  

I did not even know what to write about for this, my first post since my writer was unblocked. 

 But then, inspiration struck. 

 Like a ton of pool balls.  

So in May, Husband and I went to Hawaii.  

We went to do a little modeling photo shoot on the beach. 

 We do stuff like that.  

Craziest thing happened.

Right before we went to down to the water for our photo shoot our entire plan was foiled.

Apparently these two characters had the same idea.

I'm really glad the waves weren't any bigger.  

I would have hated if she had been knocked over.  

Especially while she wasn't looking.  

In the interest of full disclosure, I wasn't really going to do a photo shoot on the beach.  

That'd be silly.

That's also not the reason we went to Hawaii.

We went to see our friends A and A get married.

That's A and A.  

And their photographer.  

And an oblivious, sweaty, running man.  

Oh, I would be remiss if I did not mention the other reason we went to Hawaii.  

To do some scary hiking.  

If you know me, you know I detest love hiking. 

 And by love I mean it makes me want to vomit and also die.  

Also, it makes me cry.  

Like a baby.  

But that is only because I feel like dying. 

 And falling of the side of a mountain to my death is a scary thought.  

So while we were on this hike I was doing okay and only sort of feeling like dying.  

Then it started to rain.  

So I started to cry. 

 Because when it rains,  it gets muddy and then it gets slippery.  

And when it gets slippery its so much scarier, you know cause you can easily slip off the mountain and fall to your death.

This is after the rain.  

Also after the crying. 

 But before the after- hike drinks that were required to soothe the nerves.  

There must always be after- hike drinks.  

Cheers to my last hike!

(And by last I mean, the last one I shall ever do...unless you are speaking of a hike in terms of a slow walk along a wide meandering path...then I may consider the hike...but only if there is after-hike wine)

Unrelated to the great photos above.

Husband thinks you need a full update on what I've done (with pictures) the last 4 months.

Yes, no?

What Makes You Happy?

Ooooh, I haven't posted in a while.  Sorry faithful followers.  All 3 of you.

So I'm reading a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  And I dig it.  And in it she decides that she needs to be happier.  She isn't unhappy.  But she could be happier.  And she outlines a plan that deals with different areas of her life (energy, kids, marriage, work, etc, etc, etc) with several resolutions/action points/whatever it is she calls them.  Each month has a specific focus and 4 different ongoing tasks. 

My post is not about that book.  Not really.  But I kind of started to think about what makes me happy.  And I think you/we all know how i like picture-heavy posts.  (it's less to read...although i do really like to read, so i don't know what that's all about) ANYway, this is a post of some of the things that make me happy...with the caveat that Husband has the MacBookPro (the MBP) and 99.2%....well closer to 99.98% of my pictures.  So here are some of the things that make me happy...that I have pictures of right this moment.  If you are not represented below, this does not mean you are not a source of my joy, it just means I don't have a picture available.*. 

*This is not meant to be an exhaustive list.

See the tree.  It makes me happy.  It makes me think.  Why?  Cause the top looks like one tree.  But it's three trees.  See the three trunks. I call it the Jesus tree. You know, the Trinity. Weird?  whatever.  

 My friend Janet makes me happy.  She lives far far away.  We don't see or talk to each other often.  But this is from the last time we saw each other.  We had big plans to make dinner.  We were going to make something really delicious and fancy.  So we took a bunch of cookbooks and a quilt out to that grassy spot in the picture above, so we could decide what to make. But we fell asleep instead.  And then we went out for Mexican.

Maybe next time.

 My chickens.  This is Fedders as a teenager.  Lovely,isn't he?  My chickens make me extraordinarily happy.  They are just so charming and funny.  They go on chicken adventure, take dirt baths, and lay delicious eggs.  Must be a wonderful life, the life of a chicken.

My dogs Bailey Sue and Ruger Jay.  Yes, they have middle names.  Who doens't giggle when a dog cocks its head sideways?  That's funny.  I don't care who you are.

 This is Ruger.  He loves to dig.  I think its absolutely hilarious to walk outside and find him like this.  He is buried up to his shoulders .  Funny.  The system of tunnels he has dug around the yard...not so funny. 

But then he looks like this.  Also funny.

Beautiful sunsets make me very cheery, indeed.  I like to think of them as a little shout out from The Big Man himself.

These rolls.  I wanna put that in my mouth.  De-li-cious.  That can make you forget your problems for a minute.  MMMM, bread. (Oh, and I made them.  The first bread product I've ever made...it was so good I vowed to become a breadatarian.)

pictures of my friends with my camera in stealth mode.  That makes me happy...cause you always get better pictures.  Sssshhhh, don't tell them i take pictures in stealth mode.

My goddaughter, Isabella.  Very charming.  This was taken last summer.  I think she has her drivers license now. 

My toes in the sand at the beach.  Not the sand part.  Or the water part.  The being there. 

Even better, being there with Husband.  Being anywhere with Husband.

and this.

What makes you happy??